I MISS YOU

When I enter our bed room
instead of bed
I look at the broom
more of the clothes to see
and the dust floating
all around the room
I get tempted to touch your clothes
just to console my heart
of your symbolic presence
of your sweet touch
and the feel of that fragrance
you are with me
all the while
when I miss you
I feel your presence.

Becoming impatient at times
waiting for tomorrow
tomorrow of hope,
happiness and
of togetherness
filling smoke all around the room
and trying to stay
in this peculiar smell of smoke
I know I can not choke
getting habituated to it
but I am sure you would appear one day
and this smoke would provide
odour of real life
and would make us gay
my tears would not stop falling
but might have more density
remembering the days of your physical absence
for you it may not make much sense
but I still feel your presence
when I am alone and
when I miss you.

Whenever I go through -
‘when hearts are loyal distances make not difference’
I become assured
of your dear and sweet love
love that comes
from bottom of your heart
love that makes me feel
of your presence inside me
and of course willingly
or unwillingly
my presence within you
inside you
can I feel the way you feel my presence
can I be of any physical help
I wish if I could
I know my presence must be disturbing you
in my absence
may be it may not disturb you
as much as in my presence
I do not want to miss you
in your presence
be far
far off
but do not allow me to miss you
I already have missed you a lot
but I confess honestly
I miss you as much
as if
I do not have life as such
I miss you very much.
I miss you very much.

(14th August 1999, 2:30 am early morning when DD Metro is showing Gumrah hindi movie)